Wash Your Hands, Then Die….?

First, I just want to say, this is pretty much all based on my personal experience and opinion. I have NOT done years and years of extensive research to come up with the conclusion that soap is poison. This is purely for entertainment purposes. IF you are interested in the subject, then PLEASE conduct your own research. If you don’t agree with it… keep your opinion to yourself, because I don’t give a fuck. If you want me to cite resources, then you can go fuck yourself… because this is NOT my Masters thesis… this is just something I typed up while eating my Frosted Mini Wheats and watching a re-run of Keeping up with the Kardashians…

Thanks… now, read on….

Okay, so I just stocked up on some yummy smelling soaps at Bath & Body Works…. 3 for $10…. woohoo!

Island Margarita Foaming handwash… Kitchen Lemon Deep Cleansing handsoap… Coconut Verbena Lime, Sweet Pea, Caribbean Escape, Dancing Waters… Mmmmm, land of yummy clean!!!!

Well, my excitement was short lived as I happened to stumble upon an article online (and who can ever really trust the reliability of these ‘online’ articles anyways, right?)…. wait, what was I talking about? Oh yes, article… online… basically, anti-bacterial soaps containing Triclosan (like every single one I bought at B&BW) are NOT good for you. One belief is that the use of Triclosan leads to more bacterial resistance. It is also said to aggravate allergies and possibly be carcinogenic. And one article claimed that the runoff of Triclosan into water can cause sex changes in aquatic life… seriously, THAT is exactly what it claimed. I mean, there were no examples or anything, so in my mind, I’m totally picturing transvestite mermaids.

Soooo….. I had one of those moments…. I became one of those really stupid people that I generally despise and usually make fun of, as I thought to myself, “B-b-but, if it’s BAD for you, they wouldn’t put it in soap… and sell it… w-w-would they???” WOULD they???!!!!!

So, I googled it.

And holy fuck… it iS poison! How could this be true???? I mean, seriously, as I walked into the gaily colored brightly lit store in the mall, a nice man gave me a cute basket and a huge smile… at the time, I was filled with bubbly happiness as I saw the HUGE colorful flowery banner advertising the 3 for $10 sale on handsoaps. It was also so wonderful and beautiful. So safe, so clean. Ahhh.

Buuuutttttt…. looking back on it now, the whole experience seems so sinister and evil. The smiling man… was he trying to kill me as he handed me a huge basket to fill with his flowery smelling poisons? Could he be evil? Or was he just an innocent and ignorant pawn… of some greedy money grubbing unethical corporation…??? I’ll never know.

The FDA website says that Triclosan is safe. Well, no, that’s not what they said… they said that it’s “not currently known to be hazardous to humans…” I’m not sure that’s enough to satisfy me though. I’d rather the say that they know for a FACT that it is NOT at all hazardous to humans…. but, whatever, it’s the FDA… I guess you can’t expect that much from them. Though they do admit that there is enough new research to raise some concerns which merit further research. So, we’ll see…

So, seriously though… how are companies allowed to put this Triclosan crap into soooooo many of our daily products…. soap, toothpaste, clothing, furniture, toys, cosmetics, etc….???

And more importantly, what the fuck am I supposed to do with all this stupid B&BW soap now???? I guess I can recycle the crap into Christmas gifts… for those annoying obligation gift people that I hate so much….